Understanding anger: when the fire burns inside

Anger. We have all felt that rush of heat in the chest, the quickened heartbeat, the urge to shout, slam a door, or snap back with words that we do not always mean. Anger is one of the most powerful human emotions, and while it often gets a bad reputation, it is not always the villain that we think it it. It has a purpose, however the key is learning how to understand it, manage it and channel into your anger into something healthy.

So, what really is anger?

Anger is your body’s alarm system. It is a natural response to feeling threatened, frustrated or treated unfairly. When anger shows up, it is telling you that something is not right.

The problem is not the anger itself, it is how we react to it. Left unchecked, it can damage your relationships, health and and your peace of mind. However when anger is understood, it can become a powerful motivator for change.

The hidden benefits of anger

Believe it or not, anger has an upside, as follows:

• Anger signals boundaries, and shows you when something is crossing your personal line.

• Anger boosts motivation, and may give you the energy and inner strength to stand up for yourself or make needed changes in your life.

• Promotes self-awareness, and exploring why you are angry can teach you about your values and triggers.

When anger turns harmful

Anger only becomes destructive when it controls you. Unmanaged anger does not just hurt others, it takes a toll on your own health, increases your stress and can even raise the risks of heart problems. Some red flags are as follows:

• Frequent arguments or outbursts

• Saying or doing things that you would regret later

• Physical tension (clenched jaw, headaches, high blood pressure)

• Holding onto resentment long after the moment has passed

Healthy ways to manage your anger

Bottling up your anger or exploding is not the only option. Instead, try these mindful tools.

Pause and breathe: Count to 10 or take 5 deep breaths before reacting.

Move your body: Exercise in any way will help release any built-up tension.

Express calmly: When confronting someone, use “I” statements, such as “I feel upset when...”, instead of blaming the person that you are confronting.

Find the root cause: Maybe the person that you are angry with proverbially put the last straw that broke the camels back. Ask yourself: “What is really behind this anger. Could it be fear, stress or feeling unheard?”

Practice mindfulness: Meditation, journaling or grounding exercises can help calm the storm inside of you.

The bottom line

Remember that anger in itself is not bad, it is a human response. What matters is how you respond to it. When channeled wisely, anger can protect your boundaries, fuel positive change in your life and deepen your understanding of yourself. Next time that you feel that fire rise within you; pause, listen and ask what your anger is trying to tell you, as when you learn to manage it, anger does not have to burn, it can transform into a source of light.

Feel it, understand it, and transform it.